April 26th - May 2nd

April 6th - May 2nd

!!!!! ( <- Current frenzied state)

Sunday

Today was incredible.  James and I had brunch and then went to the gym for an hour.  I did an intervals on the treadmill for 15 minutes, did legs and arms and then did another 15 on the treadmill.  I have to admit, I was pretty tired, but it's getting back into it that's hard, I know.  I lost 2.5 lbs in a week though, which I was really happy about.  We came back, showered and went to Hyde Park (which will be happening a lot this term, I hope).  We laid in the sun and James read Bridget Jones's Diary, hilariously enough.  

Almost a cloudless sky, therefore plenty of sun!

  

Sunday in Hyde Park with James

Happiness.

  

James reading.  Then James prompted me to take my pashmina and let it blow in the wind :)

We came home and had a strangely good dinner at Nutford House.  We were like, "This is actually good.  Can I say that?  Knock on wood!"  We made cracks the whole time.  Maybe we were just really, really hungry?  Then came back and hung out.  Did some ballet later on.  

Monday

Like the start to some bad 80's movie it's that time again: Back, back, back to school again...(that was for Jen).   

James and I hit the gym at 6:30am for a quick 30 minute cardio session!  Honestly, I've never had so much energy all day from it.  I also slept well last night, so that helped.  We've agreed to wake each other up every other day.  James is in charge of Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I am in charge of Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.  Saturday he works a double at the Palladium, so gym-ing it is out of the question.  Showers and breakfast were had.  Then it started raining and got cold, which I saw as a bad omen, but tried to stay positive :)  

James and me on my last first day of school.  

"Driving the bus"

It was great to see everyone... it was good timing and I wasn't overwhelmed.  I was a bit worried because there's been a lot of stress circulating, but everyone seemed happy to be back, and best of all relaxed, for the most part.  We had Seminar with Katerina in the morning.  I met with Thomas in the library around 9am.  He brought me chocolate from Germany (shame on him!) to thank me for all the hard work (about a month, really) on the Powerpoint for our Research Project.  Katerina explained what was coming up for us this term, fielded questions like a champ and went through the timetable.  She mentioned she'd spent a lot of time grading papers, and there was a nervous laugh when she pointed out that when she read the essays she could see the fear in them.   Things to look forward to: 

-  Microphone Technique leading up to Radio Plays with a head radio producer from BBC (!)

-  a full day with Cicely Berry

-  a full day with Catherine Fitzmaurice

-  Accent and Dialects with Tim Birkett

-  2 Lessac workshops led by Katerina (the only Lessac practitioner in the UK)

-  lots of Public Holidays that fall on Mondays (less stress!) 

We had to go around and say what the most interesting thing we did over the break was.  Mine was, easily, Jen's visit.  Nia got engaged, people travelled, etc.  After we covered more business we parted ways for lunch, rehearsed our RMO presentation and made adjustments to the Powerpoint.  Then we reconvened for a discussion on where we are at with the presentation and what we need to work on for tomorrow.  Then we successfully presented to one of our RMO tutors, Bex.  She liked it, gave us notes and then we went to the Hampstead for a chat.  

The last thing I had to do today was check to see if there was anything wrong with the Keynote presentation being transferred to a Powerpoint file or if I'd have to reformat it.  Turns out, I did have to.  Turns out I wasted many, many hours on this presentation only to be told that I cannot bring my computer in because there are too many people presenting tomorrow and they want everyone to use a USB stick instead of plugging their computer into the projector.  So having only heard this a few days ago, via email, I spent almost 2 hours in the library on a computer with Thomas to my left for moral support, box of chocolates cracked open, on the edge of flipping out on the tech department - reformatting and literally dumbing down my Keynote presentation.  Thomas was very sweet though, thank God.  If I had been by myself, I would've lost my mind.  I also managed to dictate verbally my email to Katerina regarding the situation as Thomas scribed for me.  We sent the email, finished the dumbing down process and got the eff out of there.  I was fuming.  Thomas reassured me it would be fine and we parted ways.  I headed to Katerina's office to see if she was still there so I could vent my frustration but she'd already left.  I caught James on his way out of a tutorial and he gave me a huge hug.  We ate chocolates on the bus ride home.  It's my turn to be the wake-up-call tomorrow.  I'll have to work extra hard.  Good thing Thomas got a small box for me :)

Tuesday

Hit the gym at 6:30am.  Not sure how long this will last, but staying optimistic that it will be long enough for me to get in shape before I come home.  I proclaimed, "I will not come home fat and pale."  Lots of eating right and trips to the gym and weekends in the sun at Hyde Park with James will hopefully remedy that.  

Research Methods Conference Day.  I tried very hard not to freak out yesterday concerning the Keynote/Mac vs. Powerpoint/Windows bullshit.  Today was not any easier than yesterday though.  I went in early to fix it up a bit more and to print off a handout for the panel.  My team were nowhere to be found until about 10:20am...as they went to the Conference Welcome intro thing.  We were supposed to meet at 10am to rehearse.  We met after that and rehearsed in the student bar (hah!) and then went to set up ourselves in the room.  We were first, presenting to a small crowd and the panel.  It went up virtually without a hitch....the only thing to totally fail were the video clips, which I had gotten reformatted by the head tech guy yesterday.  He apologized profusely for all the bullshit that had gone down with it and Katerina told me not to be pissed off, but I was raging mad.  I don't think anyone realized just how much effort I'd put into it.  I had a brief 30 second cry afterwards...out of disappointment from the whole debacle, despite it going fine, as well as exhaustion and sheer relief of it being over.  It's one more box I can tick on my way to getting my MA with Distinction.  I'm getting Distinction even if it kills me.  I'm also going to get this scholarship.  I'm willing the universe to make it happen.  How's that for resiliency?  

I had lunch with most of the MAVS crew and then watched the other presentations.  There was a great one on beatboxing.  They even taught us a bit.  I love this course.   If I can use beatboxing to teach Shakespeare - I'm gold.  

I'm going to take a well deserved nap, have dinner then work on my research proposal.  James stopped in around 9pm to tell me about his day.  He's knee-deep in work as well and we're only two days in.  He's been put in charge of their large production they're doing in Cornwall at the Minnack theatre.  What a day.  Sigh.  63 days.

Wednesday

James's turn to wake me up.  On my day off.  I told him it was fine last night and that I knew I wouldn't go back to bed after that, so I went in and did leg strength training then we had breakfast.  I got some work done and went back to the gym to do 15 minutes of treadmill intervals, arms and then another 15.  It's getting easier, which is nice!   Showered and headed to find a new journal for this term as well as get my phone charged.  The journal I wanted was out of stock and after going to four Vodafone stores I gave up.  The usually have a charger machine (where you put your phone in a safe and plug it in and take a key...you pay like £1 for 30 minutes or whatever.  They didn't have the right charger for my phone, so I called Customer Service again and they said the charger was out of stock but that they'd send me one ASAP.  Right.  So I had to send an email out saying I would be without a phone until further notice.  

I went to school to do some work and then got sushi and tried another store for my journal on the way home.  Success.  The sushi was exactly what I needed.  I sent some more emails and took a nap when I got back.  I figured I'd relish in taking a nap before my schedule becomes too crazy.  Dinner was pasta that didn't taste like anything and brocolli.  Maybe I'll lose the weight after all!  

Thursday

Day 5 of gym-ing it with James.  A success.  Granted, I slept so horribly last night (a wonderful combination of stressing about the phonetics exam today, the drama with my phone and generally feeling like I need some more love in my life) that I barely could get out of bed, but nonetheless - got up as to adhere to the best friend pact to get fit, to wake James up.  I didn't think I'd be able to do much more than walk, but I actually did more than I usually do.  We got breakfast and took the tube (it's that time again to drop £70 on another month of transportation).  I printed off the preliminary research proposal I'd put together for my meeting with Katerina, then went to the dreaded Phonetics Exam.  This is a nice chunk of our final grade for the MA and although I've got plenty of experience with phonetics, I was still worried because a good portion of it was new territory.  I think I did fine; enough to, in the very least, pass it.  

I went to the PhD presentations (the final day of the conference) to see James Palm's presentation (the director from Trinity).  He was so pleased that I came and afterwards we chatted.  He said he had to run but that he was going to email me because he heard there is going to be a voice teaching position open at Trinity.  (!!!)  I was like, "Um, I have to go home for the summer!"  

Then my meeting with Katerina went pretty awfully.  She told me I got a 55 on my essay which hit me like a ton of bricks.  Mind you - a 55 is equivalent to a low B in the states, so it's not as bad as I originally thought.  I did have a bit of a cry about the essay out of sheer frustration (am I emotional lately or what?  Shouldn't I be used to these high stress situations by now?!)  because I'd redone the whole essay after getting feedback from her and it still wasn't good enough.  Katerina kept saying, "You're disappointed.  Why?"  I know it's just a number, but I thought I deserved better than that.  She said that the content of my essay was of high quality but the structure lacked so there wasn't a through-line.  She said this would be high quality BA work, but I'm at an MA level now.  I wish someone would tell me what the hell that means.  Then she offered to tutor me.  I've never been good at asking for help or accepting help when it is offered.  I always had the gut feeling that if you needed a tutor then you really weren't meant to be at that level.  Adrianne and I chatted about it and she made me feel better.  Peter (from LA) and I chatted too and it was good to have some of my close friends put it in perspective, but I just had this overwhelming, "That's just not good enough" feeling.  

I got a 64 (high B) on my practical performance, which was improved from last term.  I was still really disappointed as I'd put in twice the work.  Katerina kept sayingthat I was being hard on myself and reassured me with things like, "You had a lot on your plate last term with your migraines and anxiety," and "For you to pull these grades with those circumstances means you are doing really well."  It was just the initial emotional reaction of someone putting a numerical rating on your blood, sweat and tears, you know?  And to be told that those numbers are lower than you expected is disappointing.  I'm tired of just being "good" - I came here to make this my career and it should be something I'm great at.  It shouldn't be something I happen to be good at.  It should be something I truly excel in.  

Everyone I saw from my course after the meeting I put on my happy face for.  I can't deal with their negativity.  It comes in masses and it makes me want to run away screaming.  They just drone on about all their stress and I just want to shake them or wave my hands frantically and say, "You're not the only one on this course!!"  I keep my bitching to a bare minimum and it's mostly to Kate and James because I know they'll be objective and honest and at the same time - compassionate.  I was compassionate all term one and put myself out on a limb to help everyone who needed computer help and phonetics help.  Now I feel like saying "do it yourself"...my patience is running very thin these days.  

I'm also not getting any emails, which means I'm sending more...which can only make me look more pathetic.  Learning to be patient is rough work.  

I treated myself to a frappucino on the way home.  I probably could've eaten a whole box of oreos and 1/2 gallon of milk in one sitting, but I figured I'd be good.  Hah.  No sense in kicking my ass at the gym at 6:30 every morning if I'm going to ruin it with my worst vice: chocolate.  Maybe my biggest vice is email.

Friday

I skipped breakfast and the gym this morning.  I slept even worse last night.  I tried really hard not to think about all that went wrong yesterday and how screwed I am, but failed.  I brought Sarah's birthday present, some cards for my mom and Jen and Grandma to the post office.  Then I had a grande frappucino (this morning called for grande) and got on the tube to meet Thomas at Bank.  We got a train to Greenwich and after showing him around Trinity we laid in the grass and ate our lunches.  Thomas has chosen to use my accent for his presentation and I've chosen his.  He's Austrian and I thought that because the first accent I ever taught was German (poor Matt Tracey was my guinea pig) that I should learn how to do it right now that I'm on this course.  I like Thomas, he's very positive and focused.  He's a bit of an over-achiever like me with wanting to do lots of extra work to gain the most from the experience, but I think this is a good thing.  

Thomas and me in the grass outside Trinity.  

Thomas trying out a David Carey voice exercise in the courtyard at TCM.

Me trying to soak up some sun.  Looking pretty pale and awful.  This will soon change I hope.

Then at 2pm we watched the Trinity musical theatre students for about a half an hour and I introduced Thomas and then we went to our classrooms to teach.  My students were actually really disappointing.  They'd retained none of what they'd learned first term and had gone back to old habits.  I felt like I was starting all over again.  Some of their responses to the exercises made me want to pull my hair out.  I don't know how to help them.  I felt pretty helpless myself.  I kept thinking, "Maybe I'm not cut out for this.  Maybe I should've just gotten married and had babies."  When I saw Thomas afterwards, he said he couldn't do his lesson plans because most of them couldn't even just stand there and breathe properly.  But we only see each student for 25 minutes, 3 times over the course of this term.  How am I supposed to prepare lesson plans for these students?  

Of course I don't have a phone and I'm supposed to meet James to go out for birthday drinks with his course.  I get home feeling completely despondent and tell him I am not up for it.  He and I are planning on going to the movies on Monday, so I said we'd at least have that time to hang out.  He told me not to do any work tonight - to just chill out.   I sent some dumb emails (sometimes I swear it's as bad as texting) and then had to get out of my room.  I don't know how I got to Starbucks and back and downed another frappucino but I did.  I felt like such a zombie.  Then I had a good cry to Tim and he tried to set me straight.  I emailed Katerina asking for some advice and then set myself to the task of developing a new research proposal that is Katerina-approved.  

Saturday

I slept so horribly last night.  I kept getting up and trying to do work and getting about a paragraph in and then giving up again.  This must've happened a half dozen times before I finally exhausted myself.  Then I woke up around 3am and made a schedule for my dad of a back strengthening program for him.  He'd gotten an MRI because his back has been hurting and the doctor said he just needed to strengthen it.  So I sent that off and then tried to sleep again.  Up at 6am, read for a bit, back to bed.  Up at 10am hit the gym for an hour, back to do ballet and then breakfast by myself (James was severely hung over from last night).  Then back here to work on my new research proposal.  The old research idea was "seeking to provide theatre actors with the tools necessary to overcome the inhibiting vocal phenomena the occurs with stage fright through Fitzmaurice’s 'destructuring' approach to vocal pedagogy."  But because Katerina didn't like it and said it was too broad she wants me to have the research idea be "seeking to apply the Fitzmaurice approach to vocal pedagogy to text exploration for theatre actors."  That doesn't really help me because the research I'd done is on destructuring and anxiety.  I can use some of the anxiety research for my IPP (Independent Practical Project) but at this point I don't even know how to contextualize this work.  I emailed Jeff Morrison (voice teacher from Marymount), Bex (tutor from CSSD), Tara (my PAT tutor from Term 1), Katerina (obviously my course leader) and Christine Berg (my assigned MAVS grad mentor who's just moved back to Canada) - seeking guidance and help.  I'm not good at asking for help, but I'm feeling like I've just painted myself into a corner and I don't know where to go.  So I've been moping, listening to Jeff Buckley and checking my email a million times hoping someone's got an answer for me.  

Then Jen came online and Skyped with me.  She certainly snapped me out of my self loathing and put things into perspective.  The reality check consisted of: "you're passing this MA course where the grade doesn't matter so long as you're passing because in the real world they're not looking at your grades, just your ability to teach and qualifications"...also that I will be fine and am a capable teacher who should just deal with what's in front of me as far as my students go.  I can't expect them to be hard working or brilliant every time they come in, no matter how much time I've spent working with them.  If they don't do the work themselves outside of class, they'll never progress.  In a nutshell, snap out of it.  

She proceeded to talk me through how I needed to write my research proposal and sent me on my way.  I went to Starbucks (I swear these goddamned frappucinos are saving my life) and then to the library to get the text books I needed for the "contextualization" part of the proposal and came home.  I worked until dinner then made my plan of attack for the long weekend (we've got Monday off for a bank holiday!)  A bit frenzied today I decided to hit the gym again.  Elliptical for 30 minutes - hurrah for me and feeling guilty about frappucinos!  I should be able to, in theory burn 300 calories (because I did today) in 30 minutes every morning.  This is an uplifting thought.  I was listening to Michael Jackson, maybe I should credit MJ instead of my guilt.  Weighing in tomorrow.  (I weighed today because I couldn't wait and all was well).  Abs and a shower then more contextualization to do.  Feeling much better now.  

April 19th - 25th

April 19th - 25th

Sunday

Like I said, we got up early to go to Victoria to catch a train.  We got to Gatwick around 7am and stood in line to check baggage for 40 minutes.  Then we paid for the extra luggage and I walked Jen to the Departure area.  She said, "You'll be fine.  No stress.  70 days.  Love you," gave me a hug and off she went.  I cried for about 30 seconds and quickly recovered.  I slept on the way back into London and then when I got back I showered and prepared for my first professional paid accent coach gig.  This actor named Henry needed help with a Texan accent, which to be frank, I'd never taught and barely knew much about.  But I did what research I could considering the library was closed last week and my lack of resources.  

I went to his flat in Finsbury Park which was gorgeous.  He was an attractive actor in his late 20's, from Bristol, who'd done all of this research and homework for the role.  The role was an evangelical cowboy for the next film coming out by the guy who did The Wicker Man.  I was shocked that he was so good at the accent.  I gave him a few notes and then we just talked really, for almost two hours.  He wrote me a check for £30 and then I told him I'd be in contact regarding him wanting to learn General American.  I felt bad, although in retrospect, Kate said I shouldn't because I came in and did my job.  But I did initially feel bad because his accent was so close to perfect that I didn't have very much to do.  I came home and ate dinner with James who was back from Portsmouth and we watched The Producers.  Movie night with James is always "gay movie night" because he basically has only chick flicks and musicals.  It's like being home really, because that's all my mom and Jen watch most of the time anyway :)

Monday

I skipped breakfast to sleep in, trying to capitalize on sleeping in as much as I can before I have to be back.  I got ready to go and went to London Bridge early to grab some lunch at the Vaults, which is within London Bridge Station.  I was meeting Chris, Kate and Corin for a Research Methods & Outputs meeting at Chris's flat at 2pm.  Chris picked us up at the station in a ridiculously expensive Jaguar, which I drooled over for the entire ride as I sank into its real leather seats.  

The meeting was good, I showed the Powerpoint and all seemed impressed.  I feel a lot better about it because I'd really done a lot of work on it, and everyone was pleased.  Chris's flat was so beautiful...it made me want to have a place of my own even more.  When we were done Kate and I went to a Starbucks to chat and catch up a bit, which is exactly what I needed.  I showed her all of the pictures from when Jen was here.  

When I got back to mine I did ballet for about an hour and got some more work done on the Powerpoint (which made my eyes hurt).  This Master's course has really aged me, I think.  I've got eye strain, legitimate wrinkles and bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and stress I'm sure...I'm fatter and I've got back strain, I've got migraine and sleep issues, and am generally fatigued.  Is this what being an adult in the real world is like?  Because if so, I don't want anything to do with it.  I'm still able to do full splits on either side, and grand battement over my head so take that aging process.  

Tuesday

James and I had breakfast and then went to the gym.  We came back, showered and decided to go for a walk in Hyde Park because the weather cannot be enjoyed whilst indoors.  

James in his wicker hat and shades that he's very proud of.

This picture obviously came out really dark, but you get the idea.  Lake.

Hanging out in Hyde Park.  Brits and Americans unite.

I love this one.

Wednesday

Day 1 of the Theatre Noise Conference.  Strangely, I was the only one from my course, other than my course leader in attendance on the first day.  I was surprised because this conference is a big deal.  I got registered and hung out with Katerina in the Embassy Theatre then after the welcome speech and first keynote speaker I went to the paper presentations that Katerina was chairing.  It was tiring though, so I left about an hour early so I could make it home for dinner.  Dinner was wretched, per usual and then I went to the gym later on and did ballet as well.  Consistency is key.

Thursday

I got up early to attend a 9am Roy Hart workshop that Katerina also attended.  No sign of MAVS until later on when I met up with Kate.  I had lunch by myself in the sun behind the Hampstead theatre, which was just divine.  Solitude before having to be surrounded by MAVS for the next 60-something days was something I needed to capitalize on as well.  Met up with Kate and we went to the Round Table discussion led by Catherine Fitzmaurice, whom I'll be studying with this summer in her certification program, as well as two of her associate teachers.  When I walked in and waved at her she asked me to come down and chat with her.  I was a bit nervous because despite knowing her for a few years now and taking several workshops with her, she's got such a presence about her.  She's lovely and open, but she is powerful.  She asked me if I would be willing to demo her work, which I immediately agreed to do.  She and the other teachers were very gracious as one of the teachers is pregnant and the other was an older man in jeans.  So they got started with the discussion and then she called me down.  I did one of her basic leg tremors and she gave verbal adjustments to soften through the arms and chest and then the breath dropped in.  She's so observant.  That was one of the main things she spoke about too, that she doesn't have a technique or a method really, she just teaches her potential teachers to look and listen, which is the most vital part of being a voice teacher: hearing and seeing to make adjustments.  Anyway, I did the tremor and then they asked me to sit on the panel in case they wanted me to demo anything else.  The great part, other than being apart of this incredible conference discussion was that the whole thing was being filmed and archived for the British Library (whose resources are not unlike the NYC Public Library of Performing Arts at Lincoln Center).  I was thrilled to have made a permanent mark on the UK!  My very first and very small claim to fame.  

Kate and I hung out a little afterwards then I came home and had dinner with James.  I went to the gym later on and did interval training (which killed me) and strength training legs and arms.  Then a long shower and some emailing before bed.  

Friday

Day 3 of the conference was hyped up because the legendary Cicely Berry was speaking.  She has been head of voice at the Royal Shakespeare Company for the last thirty years and has written five books, which we use as bibles at CSSD.  She trained Catherine Fitzmaurice when Catherine attended CSSD and basically - Cis Berry is the Mother of Voice Studies.  She's a goddess.  She spoke and was quite candid.  She said a lot of things I knew from her books, but it was great just to be in the same room as her, honestly.  Despite her age, she is an incredible force to be reckoned with.  

Theatre Noise Conference - CSSD

  

They set up one of the black box theaters with all of this sound equipment and audio specialist stuff.  

Cicely Berry.

Tara McAllister-Viel and Cis Berry

Catherine Fitzmaurice and Cis Berry (!!!!!)

When I got home afterwards I had dinner with James and then he talked me out of going to the gym to instead indulge in some Ben & Jerry's and have another gay movie night.  I almost declined but his enticing offer was that, "It's the last Friday before we're back!"  So I sat through Bridget Jones's Diary and RENT.  Total twinkie movies.  I didn't even eat much of my ice cream, I was feeling so guilty.  Then I went online for a bit and got to bed early.  

Saturday

There were jerks outside my building at 3am for about an hour and half, smoking, talking loudly and playing music out of their car with the doors open.  Mind you, there's no ventilation whatsoever in my room, so I have to have the window open.   But I couldn't sleep.  I slammed my window loudly, but all they did was just looked up for a moment and then go back to what they were doing.  I wanted so badly to mouth off at them, but I resisted.  Needless to say, I slept horribly from then on.  I got out of bed around 10am and then had brunch with James.  I came back to my room and did a massive clean because Kate was coming over.

She got here around 1pm and we worked on phonetics.  Then she, James and I went for a nice long walk in Hyde Park and then went to a juice bar on Edgware Road.  Kate came back to mine for a bit more and we had a nice chat about Fitzmaurice voice work and our aspirations for this term and beyond.  I really love Kate, I'm going to miss her the most when I leave.  

Then I worked on the Powerpoint, blogged and had dinner with James around 6pm.  I tried to call Jason to chat about details concerning NYC but he wasn't around.  I've got plenty of time to get it sorted though, so no worries.  

This is for Jen, who as an Easter present brought me a stuffed bunny that smells like chocolate for when I get a chocolate craving.  This has become a running joke now.  Also, Adrianne sent me a link for a chocolate inhaler, not unlike the nicotine or asthma inhaler, apparently it helps people break their addictions.  I look like death in this picture because there are no lights on.  She's discovered "snapshot" on Skype - that's how this lovely picture came to be....I was trying to make her laugh.  Now everyone can laugh at me and my unhealthy addiction to chocolate...You're welcome :) 

April 18th

April 18th

Day 5

Saturday

Saturday morning was the grand packing day.  Jen was not convinced that I could fit everything that I had (mostly clothes now that I had both summer and winter clothes with me) into my two suitcases.  She wanted to prove this so we packed all of my things into my suitcases only to find she was right.  So we bought a third suitcase for her to bring home and Jen the Clean Sweep Monster attacked.  She did things like make me choose three sweaters, and I had to tell her why I needed to keep them.  It was nice to purge a few things, and she even got me to throw away a jacket that I'm overly attached to that I've had for probably five or six years.  It's way past its prime and I kind of wished I could've kept it for my kids, but it was it pretty bad shape.  My good friend Sarah from home has been trying to get me to get a new one for a while.  I just really loved that jacket.  Anyway, Jen got me to throw it away, and to prove that it was thrown away she took pictures.  It was rough.  

She looks innocent, but she's really out to clean sweep my whole life if she could.

  

Jacket love.  Jacket separation.  Jacket despair.

After we packed up the new suitcases and weighed them we headed out to Hyde Park to catch a bus to Notting Hill Gate to meet Kate.  Our plan was to hit up Portobello Market, have lunch with Kate, then go to Abbey Road and get some night pictures with Big Ben.  

  

We forgot to get a video of Jen singing the Portobello Road song :(

It was a mad house.

  

Cameras for Dave.  Carbs for me and Jen :)

  

Rosso Pomodoro for real Italian food.  More of the market - this guy had a little coffee shop out of his mini VW van.

  

Kate and Jen browsing.  Andy Warhol shop with a print mural.

Jen, Kate and me (I'm cheesin' as Dave would say).

We stopped in a store where Kate spotted a dress she really liked.  Then Jen pointed to a dress that was...perfection.  I tried it on.  Jen and Kate were crazy about it and so was I, so Jen bought it for me, despite how much it cost, and said that she wouldn't have to buy me Christmas or birthday presents next year.  I think it's worth it.  I didn't let Jen take it home with her, so hopefully Kate and I will get to take our new dresses out on the town for a night before I come home.  Jen also made me swear to guard that dress with my life :)

Abbey Road

  

The famous cross walk.  The famous Abbey Road Studio where the Beatles recorded.

Jen and I crossing ala Abbey Road album style.

  

What I wrote in January.  Also found what Tim wrote in January.

  

Making a new mark.  A long one, but a good one.  Right under some brilliant person who only wrote "boobies".

  

Jen's contribution to the wall.  Some tulips.

  

Then we walked back to St. John's Wood Station so I could show Jen the Beatles Coffee Shop.  She took my picture and accidentally cut out Paul, which technically makes me the fourth Beatle :)

  

Chim-chimney.  Jen loves the chimneys.  This next picture was after we headed out to take night pictures and were just about to cross the Westminster Bridge.  There's this garden at the end of this driveway to the Marriott.

  

Sisters.  Parliament.

  

Big Ben.  London Eye.

Jen finally in a phone booth.

  

Me.  Jen.  I really like Jen's picture because I got the blurry bus going by in the background.

Sisters :)

Proof that Jen survived the Nuthouse.

We got GBK and ice cream for our last "hurrah" before we both returned to our normal non-indulging lifestyles.  It was nice to take our time today.  We had to get up really early (Jen got up at 5:15am and I got up at 6am so we could make it to Gatwick two hours early for her flight).  I hope Jen had a great time, I know I did.  

April 17th

April 17th

Day 4

Friday

I was happy to have a day off from blogging, but my excuse for not blogging was that I took my migraine meds and then a melatonin and by the time I got through uploading those pictures I was so ready for bed.  Here's an account of Friday's outings.  We started our day off right by sleeping in - yes vacation!  Then we got up and headed to Buckingham Palace to take pictures.  Jen had this all planned out, she was especially excited to see the guards and wanted desperately to get her picture with one.  You can't get your picture with a guard at the Palace, but you can get one on some random side street near St. James' Palace, as Jen researched on Thursday night whilst I was passed out.

In front of Buckingham Palace

  

Kollwitz sisters.  This is my "it's really cold out" face.

  

Buckingham Palace

I love this one.

Then we walked down the street a bit to where Jen thought there would be guards for her to get a picture with.  There were two but they were behind a gate thing.  We got pictures though, and a video.  Jen was really excited.  

  

Pink taxi.  Guard #1

Then we walked to the spot where she had read about where you can get a picture with one, but there weren't any on duty.  See pic below.  After that we walked to Trafalgar Square to go to the National Gallery.  

  

Tulips.  St. James's Palace.

  

No guards here.  Sorry Jen.  Me trying to slyly point out a tiny car.  There was a man in it.

  

Trafalgar Square.

  

National Gallery.  Jen: "Look!  Pet the lion!" 

  

Jen being a tourist.  The famous archway.  Only the Queen can go through the middle one.

  

Trafalgar Square.  I swear, we waited so long for the wind to pick up so Jen could take this picture.

On our way to find a bus that was headed in the right direction we came upon a large crowd of people and then Jen realized why.  There were guards on horseback.  Intense.  After getting her picture we got on the tube and headed to King's Cross Station to check out Jen's final tourist-y desire: Harry Potter's Platform 9 3/4.  I have to admit, I was not thrilled about this, but it was pretty cute when we saw it.  

SO HAPPY.  We found guards on horses.

I was getting excited about tonight...

  

There was construction but we found it anyway.

  

Jen is so happy.  I'm kind of making fun...

  

King's Cross Station.

  

King's Cross.

  

We took the bus back to the halls to get ready for dinner and the show.  Jen climbed the stairs so she could say she rode on top of a double decker bus :)

After we got back and changed into our theatre-going attire, we went to a last minute dinner at Prezzo which was awful.  Can I please just get some DECENT Italian food here?  It's killin' me.  Then off to the theatre we go.  We saw, in case you hadn't caught on, Billy Elliot the musical at Victoria Palace Theater.

  

Yes.  West End theatre.  Gotta love it.

  

The first pic you can actually see the theatre (gorgeous) the second pic you can actually see me.

  

Theatre go-ers.

  

I look really tired.  Outside the Victoria Palace Theatre.

The show was good, and I was particularly impressed with the set and lighting design.  Elton John had done the music, which I also enjoyed.  It's quite a story.  Jen will forever tease me because I cried during the dead mother scene, which is the cheesiest part of the whole show.  Elton John struck a chord and I miss my mom, okay?  Sue me.  I'm not made of stone.  

  

Heels.  Boot.

There ya go, Gram.  Finally wearing the heels you love!  

April 16th

April 16th

Day 3

Thursday

Warning: The blog which you are about to read has been temporarily taken over by another Kollwitz across the pond......

Missy is currently sun-burned and grouchy and tired, therefore I will be bringing you Day 3 of the Kollwitz sisters in London.

Today we woke up way too early to go to the London Victoria station to catch a bus to the sea-faring costal town of Brighton.  As I read in a tourist guide on the internet before I left, "Brighton is the representative coastal city of all British sea towns."  Missy has been here before to see Nia and for Christmas with Tim, as you have seen the pictures before.

Before we boarded the train, I was quite famished so I had my first toastie: brie, tomato, and cucumber on a baguette.  Then Missy made us take the train pictures again.

  

Me indicating our destination, Missy eyeing her ticket.

  

Missy looking thrilled, Me reading the Metro

English Countryside

Once arriving in Brighton, we hoofed it down the street towards "The Sea and The Lanes."  I was quite grouchy so the first part of the morning, we were both a little cranky... plus the "South Lanes" shopping area was a disappointment and I was getting irritated walking around all these lame shops.

    

Clock Tower and the Lanes sign

Then Missy thought that shoving food in my mouth might lighten my spirits.  (Although she didn't say this, looking back I now see her ulterior motives.)  So we went to some hippie whole foods grocery store/restaurant called Bill's.  (Who is this Bill you ask?  Dunno. But he definitely is a sprout eating, play with your food kind of guy.)  The place was colorful and interesting with nicely displayed produce and interesting pantry goods.  I ordered some weird pizza with stuff I didn't know (Some veggies including rocket??, cheddar, and pesto.)  Missy got a panini with cheese and veggies.  When our food arrived... it was ... weird looking. Like someone had sat behind the counter and decorated it with veggies.  It kind of looked like green hair sprouting out of the couscous.  Anyway... it wasn't that good.  Different, yes.  But not that good.

    

   

Seriously Missy, What the hell am I eating?

After our escapades at Bill's, we continued on to what Missy promised would be a more exciting shopping experience in the North Lanes.  Well, she was right.  I got some gifts and souvenirs and there were actually some pretty cool shops.

(Okay, so there are supposed to be pictures here but Missy is sleeping and I accidentally deleted them and I am too lazy to figure out how to re-insert them right now.  Anyway, one was a lane of shops, one was a sign that said Mama-san, and one was a Run DMC shirt.)

Then we walked in the direction of the pier.  Yes, I may have tried to point us in the wrong direction but the Lanes are confusing and we went every which way. I got disoriented.

  

Taj Mahal wannabe building... and a pretty flowering bush.

 

Okay that part of the building was cool and these flowers were very pretty.

 

Then we finally arrived at the pier and the sun came out! So we walked most of the way down the pier enjoying the nice sea breeze.  The waves made the most awesome sound because the beaches here are actually made of rocks- No sand!

  

Self-explanatory

  

Again, the coastline...

This is one of my faves from today... I like the shadows on the boards.

  

Okay, so we didn't discuss the face we were going to make and we just happened to do the same one... Ha.  Oh and I always wanted to know what I'd look like blonde.  I don't think Missy was impressed. 

  

Okay, these very pretty beach chairs are like typically linked to Brighton Beach (They're all over the souvenirs.)  So we decided to take our own pics... and quite a few of them.  Note the pretty smooth beach rocks as well.

  

Another one of my favorites!

  

Yummy. 

  

Our first attempt failed do to operator error and not being able to count to 10. :)

The second one is again, another fave.

  

These are the end of our stroll along the beach before meeting Missy's friends Nia and her fiance, Miltos.

Then once everyone had arrived we went to a beachside cafe to have some Pimm's (apparently a typical summer British beverage, a mix of lemonade, some kind of ale, and something else with fruits and cucumber???)  It wasn't bad at all, citrus-y and refreshing. After a jug, we strolled down the rest of the seafront until we came across these sheds with colorful doors (another site linked with Brighton).  Apparently people rent these shed boxes for like ridiculous amounts of money so that they can open them and sit in front of the beach?  They were pretty colors at least. 

    

The Beach sheds... 

Walking in Brighton, and Nia and Miltos

After a stop at a pub for more Pimm's and some pork scratching (the most disgusting bar food snack I have ever tasted but apparently "very British," we went to Otello for some banging Italian food!

  

Then the day was over and Nia drove us to Hove station and we caught the bus back to London Victoria and bused ourselves back to Missy's dorm to crash, sunburned and tired.

  

  

  

  

Tomorrow we are sleeping in (score!) and then going to Buckingham Palace, The Mall, Trafalgar Square and The National Gallery... followed by King Cross Station (Harry Potter) and Abbey Road (Beatles) and the off to see Billy Elliot the musical in the evening.  So... for now... Cheers love.

April 15th

April 15th

Day 2

Wednesday

Despite sleeping on a 3 inch mattress on the floor last night, I actually slept pretty well.  We got up around 8am and got ready to head to Waterloo to get a train to Salisbury to see Stonehenge.  We packed our mini-muffins and headed out.  We took the tube from Bond Street and got to Waterloo to take a 10:20am train out to Salisbury.  I fell asleep the second I hit my seat on the train (I'm instantly back to being a toddler rocked to sleep on trains, I swear).  We arrived around 11:45am and got onto the tour bus.  See photos.  

  

Train ride.  I'm feigning excitement.  I think I fell asleep about 30 seconds after this picture was taken.

Best advertising slogan ever: The Stonehenge Tour - The best way to discover the mysterious stones.  Jen was so happy.

    

Oh my God, we're going to see mysterious rocks!  Are you ready for this?  Also, they called these streams "rivers" and there are five in this town.  The guy kept calling them rivers and Jen laughed every time.

  

On the bus.  Off the bus.

They offered free audio tours which you had to hold like cell phones.  There were a lot of people there considering it was an overcast day in the middle of April.  It was really windy and rained for about 30 seconds.

  

The masses circling the Stonehenge.  Listening to our audio tour.

  

  

Stonehenge.

  

Thrilling.  Rocks.  I have no appreciation for historical value.

    

Jen: "Miss, go put your hand resting on top of the rocks!"  Jen: "Let me squish one!"

  

Jen loves rocks.

Trying to take a picture of us and the rocks, failing.  Failing again.

People felt bad for us because we had such a hard time taking a picture of ourselves, so they offered to take one.

These two pictures basically sum up our entire day.

  

Jen really liked these Stonehenge daisies.  She's sentimental like that.  Thanks Stonehenge!

  

British sheep!  Flowers!

  

"River" and more of the countryside

Then we got back on the bus and headed towards the other site that was included which was a castle ruins called Old Sarum that used to have a huge moat around it.  We got off the bus and realized we had to walk these footpaths to get to the castle.  Initially I saw some pavement to our right and a gate.  I jokingly said, "Hey, maybe we could just walk up that road."  The irony of this statement will haunt us later.

   

Old Sarum.  My favorite.  Jen looking thrilled.  Please note the gate to the left of Jen in this picture.  It will be a vital element in our story later on.

  

Me with arms outstretched.  Ahhh, fresh air.  Jen hobbling along.

  

Countryside.  British cows.  Jen: "They're not just cows.  They're British cows."

Sisters :)  This is us about halfway.  It's clear we can't take a decent picture of ourselves.  I'm feigning excitement again if you can't tell.  We'd been walking for about 30 minutes at this point...and I'm not even the one with the broken foot.

  

 The long and winding road.  Oh look, a path that cross over...but it's on the other side of Old Sarum, which means we just walked around the whole thing for NOTHING.

  

Gimpy McGimpster getting up the path...there is light at the end of this tunnel, I swear.

  

This is the map that told us we'd gone the long way.  Jen looking thrilled?

  

Me on a bridge over the nonexistent moat.  View from the bridge.

Tree hanging out in the moat.

Then we finally got to the highlight of this monument.  The castle...or whatever is left of it.

  

Obviously we're so excited about this castle...

  

Looking for something to make that trek worth it.

Um what the hell is going on right now?

  

Rocks.  More rocks...there's a trend to this outing.

  

Oh look, pavement.  Oh LOOK - the GATE.

Jen was cursing the whole way down the paved road.  By the time we got back to the footpath to take us to the main road, I'd decided it was too funny not to video her trauma.

Warning: Jen is quite upset and uses foul language.  Also, turn the volume down.  You'll thank me later.

We got on the bus and headed back into town to check out the Cathedral.  This cathedral's spire is the tallest in all of the UK and the 4th tallest in the whole world.  This was the only fact I remember from the tour.  Oh yeah, and the rocks are mysterious...I learned that too.

  

A cool archway Jen wanted to go back to, so we walked through town.  We picked up postcards too.

  

It rained for about 10 minutes while we were walking through the town of Salisbury.  Jen had me take a picture of these flowers while she held the umbrella over my head :)

  

The Cathedral.  Inside the cloisters.

  

Me.  Cloisters.

  

Cloisters.  Flowers next to "river".

  

Jen on a bridge over a "river" and then LUNCH at a Salisbury pub.

Then we walked back to the Marketplace to pick up the bus again to take us to the rail station.  We got on a train around 5:30pm and again, I was out cold.  We got back to Waterloo around 6:45pm and walked out of the station towards the South Bank.  

  

Sun going down.  Picture of the Jubilee Bridge.

Big Ben.  Lots of smog.

  

A great street artist.

London Eye (sore).

  

Trying to take our own pictures again (I've got crazy eyes in this one!)  Then some pitying bystander offered to take it.

  

Then we got on a bus and headed towards Piccadilly Circus (Jen wanted to see the "Times Square" of London).  I'm wearing a bowler (Cabaret, anyone?)  And Jen is blowing a bubble (it was a balloon that said "HI MUM!" but it didn't come out.  Sorry Mom.

  

Piccadilly Circus.

  

Sad with my little umbrella.  Took the tube to Covent Garden but everything was closed so we walked to Leicester Square (photo 2).

  

More walking until we finally found Chinatown.

  

The best Chicken Pad Thai in London can be found here.  Jen is successfully using chopsticks for the first time.  So proud.

Jen really wanted a picture of the crispy duck.  No idea.

Sorry that Crispy Duck is the last picture of the evening.  We took two buses to get home and then ate cookies and chatted to Mom for a little bit.  They're apparently getting Mom a Malibu so she can get rid of her Mom-Van.  The kitchen guy came today too and he's going to be tiling the kitchen and the entry way (finally, after about 5+ years).  She was jealous of our cookies and was grabbing at the screen for them :)

Tomorrow we're headed to Brighton, so for the third time, prepare yourselves for pictures of the Lanes and the pier :)  It is supposed to rain a little tomorrow, but hopefully it will hold off again for us.  Friday we're doing more touristy-London things and then seeing Billy Elliot the musical at night.  Exhausted.  Going to sleep now.  Hope you enjoyed Day 2.

April 12th - 14th

April 12th - 14th

Sunday

After not getting to sleep til an unintentional record breaking 5am, I got up at noon.  Last night was so horrible that in my sleepless fit of frustration the thought of actually going back to the GP to get sleeping pills crossed my mind.  I did some ballet and then took a shower and hung out until I had to leave for Tara's.  

Tara was really lovely and I like spending time with her family (although it makes me really miss mine).   Mel (a woman from our course) came too.  The company was good, at least until they started talking about the course.  No matter how much I tried to divert attention elsewhere it just kept coming back to the course.  It was all negativity too, which I don't need right now - or ever.  We're on vacation for crying out loud, let it go.   I don't know why people don't realize how lucky they are to be on the world's best course for voice teachers.  Why are you going to bitch about it?  There are hundreds of people who would gladly fill your shoes.  

Anyway, we had lamb, potatoes and assorted "English vegetables" as I call them referring to cabbage and peas.  Cheesecake (New York style, bizarrely enough) for dessert.  I'm so glad I didn't have to actually eat at Nutford tonight or I would've cried over my meal like I did at Thanksgiving.  I wish I'd been in upstate with my folks visiting my aunt and uncle.  My dad went golfing and my mom said she went for a bike ride, which in that area would've been nice.  I could've really done with a weekend out of the city.  Granted, being in London is nothing like being in NYC, but I'm getting to a point where I need to take a break.  Thank God it's only two more days until Jen is here and then I'll be able to get out of the city for a breather.  We'll be off to Stonehenge on Wednesday and then Brighton on Thursday which will be exactly the escape I'm craving.  Some big rocks and the ocean are fairly close to what it's like at home, right?  Kidding.

Monday

I can't even talk about my lack of sleep at this point.  What did I do today?  I did the Research Methods powerpoint (p.s. Keynote kicks Powerpoint's proverbial ass) and then I cleaned in preparation for Jen's arrival.  Thrilling, I know.  Did a lot of ballet today too, which I needed, badly.  

Tuesday

I got to sleep by 2:30am and was up at 5:30am to go to Gatwick to pick up Jen.  I arrived around 7am and waited about an hour because it took her a long time to get her bags.  When she arrived we got her train ticket and headed back towards London Victoria.  She said she kept thinking of really cliche things like singing that song from Mary Poppins (Chim-chimney) and Sweeney Todd.  We got to Victoria station and the first thing she said was, "I feel like I'm in a Harry Potter movie."  I waited in line to get her an Oyster card for the week,  then we got on a bus and came back to the room.  I was so happy the weather held out - it was actually sunny for most of the day.  

When we finally got back to my room around 10:30am Jen had to take the very tiny elevator which she said smelled like bad cheese and then proceeded to call it the Cheese Lift.  Welcome to the joys of living at Nutford House.  I unpacked and packed while Jen rested her foot a bit.  I was overjoyed to be greeted with Smartfood popcorn, chocolate mini muffins, Triscuits, Rainbow Chocolate Chip Keebler cookies and a large jar of American peanut butter.  Jen ironically brought me two fitness magazines from the states as well.  Motivation for when I run out of food.  Then we cleaned up and left for the central London exploration.  We got on a bus and headed towards Westminster.  We accidentally got off at the Cathedral instead of the Abbey, which we went into anyway.  

JEN with a fractured foot - next to the disabled sign.  Haha.  She loves me.

  

Jen's first tourist shot.

Jen liked the architecture.  It all looks about the same to me.  

Then we got back on the bus and made our way to Westminster Abbey, Big Ben and Parliament.  

  

Westminster Abbey

  

Walked across the street so we could get some better pictures.

Jen being a tourist!

  

Caption 1: This phonebooth smells like piss.  Gotta love homeless people.  Caption 2:  Let's just keep that door closed, thanks.

Sisters :)

Jen liked the old school Underground sign.  We got onto the tube and headed to Mansion House to walk across the Millennium Bridge to the South Bank.

  

St. Paul's Cathedral before we crossed the bridge.  Then a shot of me as we're crossing the bridge.

  

Walking across the bridge to go to the Globe theater.  Dirty Thames.

  

Tower Bridge in the far distance.  Then - we made it to the Globe!

Photo montage of our tour in the theater.

They were working on the set for Romeo and Juliet which opens next week.  The set design looks practically identical to the set design I'd made at MMC when I was taking my tech credits.  I'd made a 1/2" scale model and it looked just like that - with the spiral staircase and the platform.  Gorgeous.  It was incredible to see it in person.  Our tour guide was great too.  Also, I saw a guy I knew from the Young Vic, which made me feel cool, because I'd worked with him :)

    

  

Could I be happier?

Jen!

Then we went back into the exhibition part and the gift shop and got some souvenirs and took some pictures.  

  

The Millennium Bridge.  Then back inside the exhibition.

  

Costumes

  

Me mocking the Queen.  Jen jousting with a mannequin.

Then we left and walked to London Bridge, walked over the bridge to Monument Station and headed to Baker Street for the best burgers in all of London town.

  

EAT.  Jen LOVED this sign.  The next pic is the Golden Hinde, a pirate ship, I believe.

  

Sisters.  It was bright out.

  

London Bridge!  Monument.

Modern Underground sign.  I look horrified.

All hail GBK.

  

There are no words

  

Jen loved the tomato shaped ketchup dispenser

We stopped at Boots to get her these fake ice packs, which seemed to work.  They were more like "ice patches".  On the way home I stopped and got some milk for my cookies.  I was confused about the label as it said "virtually fat free" not totally fat free, virtually.  Skimmed, not skim.  When we got back we ate cookies and then tried to watch a movie.  Speaking of movies - she forgot all of mine, left them in her room and the one shitty movie she brought she accidentally left at David's.  She brought the case, but the DVD is still at David's.  It's the movie Twilight, so I'm actually pretty happy it's in NY and not here.  But now I am movie-less and will rotate my movies for another 3 months.  Hurrah.  Anyway, we ended up falling asleep about 10 minutes into the movie and were out cold for about 4 hours.  That's what you get when you're running on little sleep.  She got about 4 hours and I got about 3 so together we had a full night sleep.  Does that count?  Around 8:30pm we woke up to our mom calling us to see how we were.  Then we chatted to Dave a bit and Adrianne, uploaded some pics.  

  

Virtually?  Who are they kidding?

Jen thought this was incredibly funny.  The lack of mixed taps in London.  They're old, what can I say?  It was just one of those frustrating things I never thought about reporting.  She, on the other hand, wanted to video it.  So here ya go.

Other London hilarities: This is what the top of a toilet looks like in England.  Jen thinks this is also hilarious.  It's really for water conservation.  You figure it out.

Jen's bum foot.  Not a happy camper.

An eventful day.  It's raining now (it's about 12:15am) but forecast says it will be sunny tomorrow.  Here's hoping we don't get drenched when we go see the big rocks tomorrow (i.e. Stonehenge).  Due to the amount of pictures we're taking, I'm going to post day by day.  It will be easier on my little laptop.  Goodnight.  

April 5th - 11th

April 5th - 11th

Short post.  No pictures, sorry.  

Sunday

April in London is incredible.  The weather is virtually perfect.  If weather was like this all the time, I'd stay here forever.  There are actually only 85 days left until I am stateside.  I did laundry today so that I could say that I did something.  I have such guilt when I don't do anything.  Vacation is rough, man.  (I'm kidding.)

I have been writing a lot though.  In some sort of masochistic way all of this painful shit that's been happening recently fuels my creativity and therefore some pretty decent writing.  My mom has been telling me to be a writer since I was in like the 4th grade.  Someday, Mom.  Maybe it'll be a play, or a screenplay even and I'll give it to Peter in LA so he can make it into a movie.  That's actually so feasible it scares me.  But let's just get this Master's first, shall we?

Monday

I can't get out of this 3am-9am sleep cycle.  It seems okay because that's 6 hours of sleep, but it's actually really inconvenient because what do you do from 6pm on after everything has closed?  But I did get up and go to the library to clear up some over-dues and to pick up the last Research Methods and Outputs workshop DVD.  When I got home I realized the DVD didn't work, so now I've got to go back to school and get it sorted.  

The highlight of my day was treating myself to some sushi from Me Love Sushi.  I can't take much more of this Nutford House catering.  I'm cultivating a loathing for even the poor, bitter women that serve the food.  Sushi was fine, but I hate eating by myself in a restaurant though, it's depressing.  So I got it as take-out and went home to yet again stream episodes of Weeds and focus my energy towards how much fun I'm going to have when Jen gets here.  As of late, I've felt pretty miserable.  Sorry this doesn't make for an exciting international blog post.  I hate April.  I think I said I hated March too.  Term 3 and then the eventual return home is coming....I wish it were sooner though...

Tuesday

I went to Kate's from about 12:30pm-5:30pm.  We worked on phonetics and watched the RMO DVDs.  She made an incredible veggie chili with brown rice and avocado on the side.  Then we had a fruit salad (strawberries, blueberries, apples, blackberries, pomegranate, grapes) with her soy yogurt (which was actually pretty tasty).  She made me drink like three cups of green tea while I was there.  I think she can tell I need to chill out more.  Why can't I enjoy this vacation? 

I went to the gym to do some strength training.  After two weeks of doing nothing I was feeling overwhelmed with guilt.  

Wednesday

I thought maybe wearing my Bikram clothes to bed would motivate me go in the morning, but I couldn't get to sleep so by the time I got up I had to go to school to get the DVDs sorted.  The head tech guy was really nice about it and burned me new DVDs of the third workshop but I had to hang out for about two hours.  I went to the library and watched a few episodes of Weeds on the school's general student network (take that University of London) as I've been quarantined for streaming too much as apparently internet use in the halls is solely for educational purposes.  Right.  

I ran into Lizzie, from my course, and we chatted for a bit about the upcoming work.  She kind of poked fun at me for being in "blacks" as they sometimes call them.  Wearing your "blacks" is a traditional drama school thing because as a first year BA actor you have to wear black everyday.  It's part of the tearing down your identity and your habits thing.  That's why the CSSD hoodies are black.  I am amused by this, but often find myself wearing black and blending in with the BA's.  Hell, I blend in with my students at Trinity.  Speaking of Trinity, Lizzie said she might be taking a different teaching placement that's more geared towards what she wants to do in the future.  She suggested I take hers, as two of mine have fallen through (Kingston College and Italia Conti).  So now I've got to pick between hers and Trinity (from Kate).  Lizzie's placement is with a physical theatre company doing show support and the rehearsals are at night.  I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it sounds interesting enough to explore a bit further.  We'll see, I've still have to talk to Katerina.  

I was feeling pretty down today so when I got back from the library I got out of my blacks and into "normal" clothes.  I thought: what could cheer me up more than some sunshine and window shopping in one of the world's greatest cities?  Luckily, this did cheer me up a bit.  I strolled Oxford Street, tried on some heels (always picks me up because the size never changes!) and then headed back for dinner.  Dinner was awful, but at least it didn't cost me anymore money.  I didn't buy anything while I was out, which is for the best.  I will probably only allot myself one more actual shopping day before I come home, as I am pretty po'.  But even getting out of the room and doing something out of the norm for me (being particularly girly) seemed to help.

Thursday

Last night was probably the worst time I've ever had in trying to get to sleep.  For some reasons all of these embarrassing moments kept surfacing in my mind and I kept thinking about what an ass I'd made out of myself.  But these weren't just recent embarrassing moments, these were like from years ago.  These, I know, are irrational thoughts and I doubt many of these moments are even remembered by the others who were there to witness them.  But I couldn't just lie still and relax.  My mind wanders.  

Good news: Jen comes in 5 days!  That's the best news, actually.  Thank God she'll be here soon because then I will actually be forced to have a real vacation.  Her visit is going to include: Westminster Abbey, Parliament/Big Ben, London Eye, the Globe theater, Tate Modern, Tower Bridge/Tower of London, a day trip to Stonehenge, a day trip to Brighton, Abbey Road, Buckingham Palace, Oxford St/Carnaby St/Regent St, seeing Billy Elliot the musical and Portobello Market with Kate.  I don't know what else we could fit in 5 days.  Of course there are jazz bars, pubs, clubs, Chinatown, Covent Garden, etc.  But the best of the best is sure to be covered.  Not to mention: I get to have real meals.  I'm most looking forward to seeing Billy Elliot and Brighton again.  Nia is letting us hang out in her flat if we want.  

Grabbed a quick shower and then headed off to school for a phonetics group study session.  I figured it would be nice to ease myself back into school mode through seeing people from my course, but the downside to seeing them for a study session is that their stress usually rubs off on me.  So I've decided to make my appearance brief today, for the sake of my own sanity.  Then I came back to my room and tried to get myself organized for Term 3.  I feel a bit better today.  Emails are always nice to come home to.  

Went to the gym a little after 8pm and started choreographing a piece to "Lover, You Should've Come Over" by Jeff Buckley, which is one of my all time top five favorite songs.    It's not done, but working on it certainly is helping me find closure for something that has been left undone for about three years.  I feel better, clean....free.  

82 days left.  Patience is a virtue.

Friday

I had an okay day.  Not much to report.  I'm not enjoying this vacation, in case you couldn't tell.  In the very least, I got some work done, so I won't feel stressed about it when Jen comes because I will have done a fair amount and will be able to finish the odds and ends in the week after she leaves.  

Oddly enough, I was reunited, thanks to technology, with an old friend today: Danny Sostre.  He was one of my closest friends and trouble-maker extraordinaire from when I was sixteen (why does that seem forever ago?) and we haven't been in contact since I moved to NYC.  But it's like no time has passed.  It was really refreshing to catch up with him.  After reminiscing for a bit we got on the topic of music.  He suggested I listen to a guy named Ibrahim Ferrer (old school cuban salsa) and I suggest you do too; it's really good.  I can't wait to share it with Jen when she gets here.  It was really great to talk to him and catch up a bit.  I can't believe how much time has passed.  

Saturday

Kate came over and brought me (for Easter, mind you) an avocado and a passion fruit.  She said, "Well, they're egg shaped."  She's supporting my efforts at slow weaning off of chocolate.  It's going well so far.  

We had a great chat, did some phonetics work (very little) and then went for Lebanese on Edgware Road.  She had the vegetarian mixed mezza and I had lamb and hummus on pita.  Baklava for dessert and long chat about how we can't be bothered with any work at the moment.  We came back to mine and I burned her some new music that I thought she'd like.  She was out clubbing in the 90's so she said she missed out on Radiohead's albums after Pablo Honey, so I burned her a mix of some of my favorite tracks.  I gave her the salsa album and some new stuff too.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  She's the closest friend I've got here.  

3 days til Jen comes

15 days til Term 3 starts

80 days til I am stateside and enjoying the luxuries of America