October 6th-12th
Monday
We finally got my UK bank accounts set up and then I had to run to school for more induction fun. The first thing I went to was a 2 hour introduction to the MA Voice Studies course (MAVS) where we got little introductions to everyone and defined our goals as a group:
- To "find our voice"
- Expand our vocabulary, develop our skills
- Develop our own unique pedagogical style
- Understand our responsibilities as voice practitioners
- Network and make connections in the field
- Develop our passion through knowledge of the work
We went over the syllabus in detail, which I have to admit was overwhelming because it was seeing the entire year (October to October) at a glance. It was a lot of information to digest. It's broken into units: Vocal Anatomy, Practical Phonetics, Vocal Practice, Research Methods and Outputs, Vocal Pedagogy, Independent Practical Project and MA Portfolio. Already I was thinking, "How am I going to put together my portfolio over the summer and do the 6 week Catherine Fitzmaurice Teacher Training?" But I took a breath and reminded myself to just deal with today.
Katerina explained a few key points about us as people on the course. She said, "I want you to be careless, rather than careful. I don't want you to take yourself too seriously. That's very important for you to remember." She also explained the history of the course briefly. Elsie Fogerty, the first principal of CSSD, was described as "always reaching for true sound, or rather for truth in sound."
"'...make one's own quality develop; so many teachers impose a false way of speech, a false voice, but hers was the natural way... She encouraged one to research personally into vocal problems - to seek for oneself, not merely accept a cure.' No better description comes to mind of the essence of the Central approach to voice and voice teaching." (MAVS Course Handbook)
The first exercise she did was label the room North, South, East and West. She asked us to move (as if the space were the British Isles) to where we came into the country. Then we moved to where we live now. Then we were asked to move where we'd like to live. It was rough because my geography skills are severely lacking. But it was fun to run around and say, "Is this right?" and have people help each other.
Then we took a piece of paper, folded in half. We walked around the room, met someone. Observed them speaking and then took a minute to write on the inside of their folded paper - our observations about their voice, gestures, posture, etc. Then fold the paper, hand it back and go to someone else. Other people's observations were that I was "mellow" (which was written twice) and that I had good eye contact, was open and friendly, eyes were bright. I was pleased to see someone wrote I have good projection, because I always feel like no one can hear me.
Then we went to the Postgrad Welcome. What we would call grad school, they call postgrad. We were introduced to the principal, Peter Mandelson and other important people whom we probably wouldn't see.
CSSD FUN FACT: Harold Pinter is the new principal as of last week! Check out this brief and exciting article!
There was a great lady (one of the Dean of Students) named Sally Mackey who read a paragraph from a book. The paragraph was so dense that people laughed. It talked itself in circles. She said before she started her MA course she asked her course leader for extra reading (ontop of the reading list) and he said to read that paragraph. She said she had a breakdown because she had no clue what it was about. Her husband had no idea what it was about. She thought - "If I can't understand this how will I ever succeed? I'm going to be a big, fat failure." But at the end of her course she reread the paragraph and was relieved to find that she knew exactly what it meant. She explained that we're all in this state of uncertainty right now, and that once we accept that there will be struggle we will find our feet. It was a great introductory speech.
Other people talked about how this is a transition time for us, we are crossing a threshold and we're starting to entertain the new possibilities that lay before us. One speaker said, it's a state of liminality, ambiguity, toleration of paradox. I instantly thought of Thom, as if the word "paradox" was like a light switch. I'm always coming back to this word. This speaker put up a slide with a quote:
Liminality. The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness, and indeterminacy. One's sense of identity dissolves to some extent, bringing about disorientation [you're telling me]. Liminality is a period of transition, during which your normal limits to thought, self-understanding, and behavior are relaxed, opening the way to something new.
- Richard Schechner
Then we were sent off into groups in different rooms (all 290 of the postgrads) and we got to meet some other MA's at CSSD. We were asked to think about all of the formative events that brought us to CSSD. I began with a straight line across my page, but then I realized it did not seem like the events went in a straight line. So I turned it over and began drawing a spiral. Some people started with "I was born on _____"...but my first event was "I was first onstage." Along the way I was reflecting on the people who helped me get to where I was. I felt all at once overcome with graciousness and humility to even be in that chair, in that room, in that school, in that city. I felt like everyone was there with me.
I met up with my parents afterwards, who'd been exploring the city. They saw the changing of the guards.
They had gone to a Wimbledon and taken pictures for David. They got him a bright green shirt, very Dave-appropriate, with the logo on it.
You can tell from their expressions that they're REALLY excited.
We got dinner at a pub in Hammersmith: fish and chips, again. But I am a huge fan of fish and chips, so I had absolutely no problem. We went back to the hotel and we chatted for a bit. I went to Nutford House to sleep.
Tuesday
Katerina had given us the assignment of the "Talking CV" on Monday. She said we just had to stand up and talk for five minutes about ourselves. It could be about work, personal life, how we got to CSSD. I decided not to do what I always do, which is over-prepare and psych myself out. I chose to look at my time-line from the Postgrad Welcome exercise and then just speak from the heart. Whatever came out would be truthful and present. I wrote down my reactions to my CV when I sat down. I had felt a bit shaky, although everyone said I seemed very calm and present. My parents were leaving the next day, and the reality check of being very alone and saying goodbye to them until July was a lot to have on my shoulders - and still be vulnerable in the classroom. I felt really anxious and tried to hide it. You have to find that balance of how much do I open up to these people...and how much do I keep behind the wall?
After Voice I went to my first one-on-one Tutorial with a woman (from the US!) named Tara. She is a great observer and I felt comfortable talking to her. This first session was just about vocal health, goals, etc. My parents had been to Trafalgar Square to see the National Gallery and do some last minute gift/souvenir shopping so I met up with them after my tutorial to eat my last meal with them and hang out. A lovely girl named Lucinda from my course recommended we eat at restaurant that serves "modern English food" called Rock Garden which was located in Covent Garden. I'd never been to Covent Garden, but Peter and Jemima said it's beautiful. I was really happy we did. We had a nice time and laughed together. I bought a trendy, green knit hat.
Evidence that we did try to find tea cups for Jen!
Cobble streets...
They came back to my room to help me decorate a little more. Then we reluctantly parted ways and I was left to my new home, Nutford House. I leaned out my window and watched them walk down the street and around the corner out of sight. I was very lucky because I met up with James, Jemima and Peter. We had wine and ate biscuits. I was trying to stay positive, and they were really so good to me.
Wednesday
A bit melancholy about my parents leaving. Skipped Library Inductions...what's there to know? It's a library. I did feel guilty about missing it and when I went the next day it was like, "Here's the fiction section, here's the arts section..." Really, now? I don't think I could deduce that myself by the labeled sections...
So instead I did my ballet DVDs and stretched. I realized I am way overdue for getting myself back in shape, but this is the perfect time for me to do it. My body is my temple...your body's the only one you've got so treat it with care...etc. I walked to the Seymour Leisure Center which is about a 3 minute walk, if that, from Nutford House. I spent a bit more than I would have liked, a package for 4 months on a "student rate"...what am I going to do when I'm not a student anymore!? I worked out for about an hour and a half. I went to Ryman (aka Staples equivalent) and got what I needed for classes, also very pricey. I went home, showered and relaxed.
It's hard to let go of the need to be busy. It's something I've always relied on to keep me from feeling anxious. It is hard to accept that I can allow myself to be a bit indulgent about being here. I got here, I must be deserving, I deserve to be happy and do what I love. Those ideas are things I have to remind myself of everyday. When I'm here I have no one else's agenda to consider, I have no other worries (other than money, which now that I've figured out my budget with loans and everything I can let go of too)...I need to accept that it's okay to let go, expand, find joy, and SEEK FOR ONESELF.
Thursday
We had Vocal Pedagogy in the morning with Katerina. We talked about the possible teaching placements in Term 2 and 3 in places like Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, Guildford School of Acting, Thames Valley, Redding, East 15 Acting, London Centre for Theatre Studies, etc. Also - at CSSD with the BA students. I'm leaning towards teaching at CSSD because it was a bit of a challenge to be a T.A. for Thom as far as bridging the student-teacher gap and then Assistant Directing as well, with people so close in age to me.
We learned about the difference between Behavioral and Cognitive learning and did some great exercises involving the process of pedagogy (I won't include the exercise because this post is already HUGE):
1) Wanting - motivation (actor can't be heard without breath work, support, etc, wants to be a good actor)
2) Needing - necessity (needs to be heard)
3) Doing - exercises, practice (the actual exercises in breath work, support, etc)
4) Feedback - did we achieve the goals we set out?
5) Digesting - make adjustments to lesson plans
It's really simple, but it's necessary in every lesson plan.
I came home and ate dinner with the usuals. Then James hosted a movie night in his room, so we watched Sweeney Todd and ate Bourbon Biscuits.
Friday-Sunday
The day started off with Vocal Anatomy with Katerina. We did a "review" exercise called Anatomy Man to see how much we knew. We had to label the parts of the body with stickers. They knew I'd just finished my undergrad degree so it would be fresh in my mind, so I was chosen as Anatomy man, and just confirmed, yes or no to where they were putting them without giving too many clues.
Anatomy (wo)man!
Katerina on the left. The class getting a closer look at the skeletal structure (we named him Alawiscious).
After Anatomy, I met with my "buddy" Kate. We paired up to work on Vocal Diagnostics for each other. We observe our buddy and create a vocal profile of their habitual tendencies. Then we devise a lesson plan to assist in correcting a problem area. We agreed that we just wanted to get to know each other better, so we met in the library. She's Irish with a lot of stage and film experience, who teaches in the corporate field with businessmen who learn English as a second language. She is an ideal buddy because I can bounce ideas off of her so easily and she responds very honestly and simply. I mean that in the best way possible. There's no sugarcoating, but she's very sweet. I'm grateful to have her presence in my life. I feel like she's looking out for me. I can see us being a good support system for each other with the work. When I talked about my impressions of my voice, my anxiety disorder, knee problems, technical vocal problems, issues with interacting with people - I didn't find myself saying or thinking, "Oh, you shouldn't have said that!" There was no judgement. It was so comfortable and safe. She gives the best advice and even today she said, "Do you feel or hear any difference in your voice?" I laughed, I had felt like it was more versatile and adaptable. She said that my vocal range and depth had grown. She noticed this in the last two weeks. It's amazing that the changes are happening so soon. It's also a huge relief.
That night was the "Lantern Festival" that the 200 BA students had worked on for the first week. They had a choreographer and were learning songs for this huge piece they were doing. It's hard to explain, but it was a big deal. They looked and sounded amazing.
This is the lantern "dancing" part of it. The next one is the singing bit. Beautiful.
We went to the Student Union Bar (yes our student union has its own bar) which is actually a part of the school. You can get to the bar anytime of day simply by going down a set of stairs and walking to the end of a hallway. I can't get over how ridiculous this seems. The drinking age here is only 18 though, so it makes sense, I suppose.
My boys.
The original London cast.
Pub crawl ensued until we were completely knackered. Then home for a good sleep and brunch on Saturday. Saturday night we went out to the pub with our Geordies (Lee and Big J).
Big J and Jemima on the left, me and Pete, then Jemima and Lee on the right.
On Sunday Peter and I went to Covent Garden to find Jemima a birthday present and to get a book I needed for class. Then we walked through Chinatown and got lunch. I had the most delicious Beijing dumplings. Came home, did boring stuff like going to the gym and laundry. A long and eventful week. A very memorable one, at that.
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